They say time heals all wounds but I really don’t think it does. I think it numbs it for a while and fills you with other things to worry about but then, that only works if the pain is not deep, because, the heart always remembers.
When a loved one dies, we are suddenly the recipient of all sorts of empathy. Though they mean well, but their words irk us, reminding us of the fact that the ones we love are really gone. At that point, everything feels surreal.
We get lots of “be strengthened”, “be safe”, “take care of yourself”, “my thoughts are with you”, “my condolences”, “my sympathies” and the fave, “they’re in a better place.”
What if I want the better place to be by my side? Isn’t it the best place in the world?
Sometimes, you just want to shut the world out and breathe, to will them to come back to life, hoping that this is a nightmare ending soon, a roller-coaster ride that has a destination, a dream you hope to wake up from.
I tend to wonder at folks who go on to say “I know how you feel” and most times regale you with tales of losing a loved one like it’s a competition for I suffer pass you.
Bruhhhhh. Even if you’ve lost a loved one, we definitely grieve different. You don’t have any idea how much I’ve prayed to right things. You don’t know if I’ve contemplated suicide or how scared I am of the responsibilities that the loss portend. You don’t know how I wish I righted things before they left, how my heart is full of regrets and what ifs, worries and questions, how much I have questioned God, how much it made me question my faith.
We feel different; don’t start the plenty talks when you see me, wish me well and keep moving.
Sometimes a song makes you tear, the whiff of their fav cologne, passing by their fav spot, meeting that boy that broke her heart, or the girl she fought with over the boy, going through Facebook memories and just when you think you’ve healed: boom!! There’s a meltdown.
Those we love are forever and always in our hearts, always remembered and never forgotten.
